Put the toys away!!

I’m remembering a lot of things today. The kinds of things that I haven’t thought of in a long, long time.

When I was a kid, as in… before age 8? Anyway, back then my best friend was a girl. She was named Courtney. She has grown up to be exactly like she was as a kid: A wonderful loudmouthed brat who doesn’t have time for your bullshit. I liked that about her. I am more subtle and brooding. But the latter, I think, the “doesn’t have time for your bullshit” part, is something either she gave to me or I gave to her, or maybe we both had it all along and that’s part of what connected us, nobody knows. Today, I thought about playing with her when we were tiny stupid humans (see also: children). At my house, we played with my GI Joes and a few of her Barbies that she’d bring over. And Vice versa at her house. We’d also improvise a lot. A tennis racket was a guitar. A broom was a microphone. A rope was a snake. Or, I guess, sometimes a rope was just a rope. Whatever. We both had toy boxes. Maybe that was a thing back then. Maybe it still is, toy boxes? Do kids still have them today? I remember this part today: How frustrated I used to get because Courtney never put her toys away. Her mom and my aunt would be drinking in the kitchen but they’d always know. And they’d always yell. PUT THE TOYS AWAY!! I learned pretty early on that it was less of a hassle to just put my toys away. But she, Courtney, never caught on… or simply just did not give a shit. Don’t get me wrong, we were both incorrigible and rebellious from day one, but I found sense in putting toys away. It was almost peaceful for me. I don’t know why, but that’s just the kind of kid I was.

This image belongs to Little Tikes, not me. They make awesome toys, and toy boxes.

This image belongs to Little Tikes, not me. They make awesome toys, and toy boxes.


The kind of person I still am. I thought about it today, for the first time in twenty-something years. I was at work and needed to borrow a floor-squeegee from the meat department. The guys said, “That’s fine, so long as you bring it back.” My initial response was, “I will, don’t worry,” but what I really wanted to say was, “I will always put things back the way I find them, because that’s the kind of person I am.” That would have been overdoing it, especially in the presence of this meat guy I barely know and will probably never know much more. But, man, something in me really wants the world to know that fact about me. I am the kind of guy that’s gonna bring your fucking squeegee back. Because I’m not a dick, and I have respect for other people’s things. That same bit inside of me is the bit that makes me a very clean eater.

So, yeah, while you’re yawning your way through this post, I am having profound realizations about myself and the world around me. Remember that post where I talked ’bout this blog being for me, in place of an overpriced and incompetent therapist? So yeah, not my fault you were dumb enough to be waiting for “the point” while reading this horseshit.

Pretty cool how I ducked out being held accountable for your loss of time, huh? Yeah… I thought so.

About R. Spacely

Bastard.
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