"This planet is 15 million years overdue for an asteroid strike like the one that killed the dinosaurs."
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Dripping Jack Daniels.
Remember I used to recommend shit, too?! Yeah, buddy. These are movies I’ve LOVED recently. I feel like they’re big in Portland but maybe not other places? Go see these fuckers! HESHER!! Fucking rules ass. This is probably my new … Continue reading
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Hey, check out this dead body, dudes!
Well, if you fuckers keep egging me on and feeding my ego, you’re gonna keep on getting more of my bullshit. I’m single. I haven’t had sex in 38 days (unless you count that five minutes last week where my … Continue reading
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I don’t know what to call this.
Well, okay. I got this email from a lady who reads my blog. She said some nice things, and then told me some other things, none of which is really anybody’s business. But I want to write about this thing … Continue reading
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Girl, that ain’t yo’ pizza.
I roll my pant legs up. My legs are pasty white, long dark hairs, but well-toned. Middle of July, feeling good to be back in Portland. The sky I’m sitting under, on the front porch, is crispy and hot and … Continue reading
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Welcome Home, Indian!
I am the most lucky human I know. Last time I wrote, I was a mess. And then I got better. And then, a week from yesterday, the girl came back from Thailand and dumped me. She set me free. … Continue reading
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All the unborn chicken voices in my head.
I’m here to get drunk. Posted up at a bar called The Hilt. Immediately upon walking in, a girl says to the bartender, while looking in my direction, “Well, how about I buy his drink?” I thought, this is going … Continue reading
Asshole.
My blog turned a year old recently, and I didn’t even wish myself a happy anniversary! What a shithead, right?
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We’re gonna work it on out.
Well, it’s been a while again, hasn’t it? I am sorry for that, more than you know. In a conversation yesterday or the day before, I was explaining to someone how therapeutic this blog was for me, for quite a … Continue reading
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Some people.
Some people are rad, but some are not. Some people are fucking weak. Some people distort perception, for the sake of sanity and sleep. Some people are painfully boring, even though they swear they’re not. Some people talk too much … Continue reading
