The Stir-Fried Dinosaur

What is the light?

Robert Boylan — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 00:47:23 +0000

Yeah. I know. I’m a fucking jerk. I was getting really decent about posting here for a while. But. What can I really say? I just don’t have a lot of time these days. I work my shitty job, and I have a few friends to drink with, and I’ve even found myself a rad girlfriend. Life is good, and I guess that always makes me less likely to get on my blog to complain about the world. And without complaints, I really have no idea what to write. And even the complaints that I do have lately, I just don’t feel like really whining about.

Oooh, here’s something worth sharing:
I turned thirty (30) a couple weeks ago! Yep, no longer fitting into the “twenty-something bloggers” demographic. Me and the aforementioned rad girlfriend went and saw The Flaming Lips! Oh, right… Wayne wanted everyone to know that, despite playing in a fairly small seated venue, he triumphantly went into the crowd in his space bubble. And it was fucking cool. Goodness, so many things to say about that show…. things I have no desire to mention now. You should have been there, dummies!!

Also. Well, no. That’s it. I don’t feel like writing anymore yet.

We Are The World

Robert Boylan — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 21:11:43 +0000

Well, this weekend was fucking SICK!!

I was going to try to write about it, but I don’t want to.

I will just show you this:

Yes, sir. I was there. Life changed.

Tagged: Daniel Johnston, Portland, Scout Niblett, Wonder Ballroom

Everybody out there died, and we had to take over…

Robert Boylan — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:21:18 +0000

So. Joe Rogan is brilliant. And hilarious. And extremely underrated. Largely due to his notoriety from hosting Fear Factor. Which was a pretty stupid show.

Anyway, I’m watching a stand-up special of his from a while back that I hadn’t seen, and so I’m falling in love all over again. Every time I see this guy, he blows me away. He’s like… as smart as Bill Hicks, and almost as preachy… but waaaaay less abrasive and/or angry. Super fucking cool. So I was going to play this clip of the show that I went and found on youtube, but then I also found this other clip from the same show that explains his feelings on that terrible, aforementioned TV show. So I will put them both here, because they’re short.

And so this one is about grown-ups and et cetera, which is relevant to things I think about. You should just watch it. Because it’s awesome.

And he’s obsessed with space and monkeys and stuff. Pretty good, right? So I think I’ve got a friend-crush on him… Okay. Anyway. Point is. I like this guy. You should trust me. And you should like this guy, too. If you don’t already.

Okay. Well. I’m gonna go make some french toast now. Bye!

It’s demanding to defeat those evil machines…

Robert Boylan — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 08:59:29 +0000

1.) This is my 250th post!!

2.) This blog doesn’t look enough like outer space.

3.) I have a friend named Aje. She says stuff. One time, she said this stuff:

“You are the right person, this is the right time, you’ve paid your dues, you’re thinking the right thoughts, you’re doing the right things, and this very moment, you are exactly where you’re supposed to be… poised for the happiest time of your life.”

I liked when she said that. I believed her when she said that. I’m putting it down here so that I’ll remember to remember when she said that. Because I believed her back then, and I’d like to believe her again.

Dripping Jack Daniels.

Robert Boylan — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 12:28:17 +0000

Remember I used to recommend shit, too?! Yeah, buddy. These are movies I’ve LOVED recently. I feel like they’re big in Portland but maybe not other places?

Go see these fuckers!

HESHER!! Fucking rules ass. This is probably my new favorite movie.

Another Earth. This was pretty trippy, and intense, and kinda just all-around fucked up.

I’m not going to sit here and give explanations of these films because I’m not a reviewer… I just have good taste in stuff, so you should trust me when I tell you these are good movies. Okay?

Last one…

Hobo with a Shotgun. Don’t fuck around. This is one of the greatest films ever made. I now have respect for Canada. Yeah, dudes.

Hey, check out this dead body, dudes!

Robert Boylan — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 21:05:46 +0000

Well, if you fuckers keep egging me on and feeding my ego, you’re gonna keep on getting more of my bullshit.

I’m single. I haven’t had sex in 38 days (unless you count that five minutes last week where my ex-girlfriend sat on my cock for a few minutes, just long enough for me to realise that I’d rather be moving forwards than backwards). I’m pretty sure that I’m addicted to sex. Never understood that before, but my libido hasn’t always been like this.

It’s pretty fucked up to be as horny as a 15-year-old boy, while having the experience and stamina of a 30-year-old man… and still not doing anything interesting with my dick. This is the longest I’ve gone without sex in a few years. It hurts.

The cute girls that come into my job. Their white cotton summer dresses, and the dark-colored panties underneath that show me all of the contours I’ll never explore. The body of a woman with a good ass… it kills me. They come in with their men, smiling and picking out vegetables together, putting together a wonderful and adorable meal. They’re gonna go home and cook and then eat, and then they’re gonna do some dishes, and then they’re going to fuck like they mean it. That’s the thing that makes it harder: When people are cute enough to be cooking for each other, they are probably going home and sucking and fucking with a ferocity that you just can’t get in a one night stand or a fantasy.

Remember when I used to shove videos into the middle of my blog posts, because it was a fun things to do? Yeah, I remember that, too. Here is something from a great band called Tremendous Fucking:

Except this is the fucked up part. I don’t feel like writing anymore right now, because I just got distracted on youtube for an hour. Fuck! ANYWAY. This post is over. More later. Maybe.