"This planet is 15 million years overdue for an asteroid strike like the one that killed the dinosaurs."
Tag Archives: Love
All the unborn chicken voices in my head.
I’m here to get drunk. Posted up at a bar called The Hilt. Immediately upon walking in, a girl says to the bartender, while looking in my direction, “Well, how about I buy his drink?” I thought, this is going … Continue reading
Fucking Righteous: 200 Stir-Fried Blog Posts!!
Well, we’ve made it, folks. To date, I’ve made 200 posts on this here blog. This is a momentous occasion for a few reasons, but mostly because I never stick to things. In the beginning, I admitted that I’ve started … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Alcohol, Freakishness, Good Music, gun violence, Humor, Insanity, Love, Masturbation, Perverts, Portland, Rant, Redemption, Relationships, Sex, Soul, Stir-Fried's Greatest Hits!!, Surrealism, Tragedy, Vasectomy, Weird science
6 Comments
Dogs in heat, rabid foaming.
I’m not always like this, I’ll have you know. The outward misery, or whatever? Sometimes I do love life. And when I do, I feel like my capacity for this loving of life is far greater than most people experience. … Continue reading
Phase Three: COMPLETE!!
So, the deed is done. It is. I am officially vasectomized. Since I wasn’t allowed to videotape the whole process (and if I was allowed, I’m sure that posting the gruesome footage would get me kicked off of WordPress anyway), … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Funny, Growing Up, Life imitates art, Love, Masturbation, Perverts, Redemption, Sex, Vasectomy, Weird science
18 Comments
Life is strange when you’re famous as fuck.
Alright, so this is pretty rad. Mister David Spinks, the founder of Scribnia.com, went out to the desert to trip on peyote with the natives. In a terrifying vision, the spirits told him to interview me for his “Behind the … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Anxiety, Freakishness, gun violence, I blame the media, Lameness, Love, Mental Illness, Perverts, Redemption, Surrealism, Tragedy, Weird science
2 Comments
My life changed completely by the low-flyin’ planes.
Dude. I have to talk about this, because blogging is therapeutic and all of that. And I’m in need of some healing. Uhh… so I’m just gonna say it. I have been craving cocaine like CRAZY lately!! Oh my god. … Continue reading
Posted in Going Home
Tagged Fun With Cocaine, Good Vibrations, Love, Portland, Safety First, The Future, The Past
1 Comment
If you don’t know, now you know…
So I slept like shit and woke up angrily at 6am today. Then closed my eyes again until 7am, which made me late for work. But fuck it. Anyway, I was not a happy camper at all this morning. This … Continue reading
I’m an alligator.
I got a creepy email today: Hello Dear My name is Grace i saw your profile today at (20sb.net) and became intrested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send an email to … Continue reading
And we can’t live if we’re too afraid to die.
It’s Friday and I am crazier than usual, I think. I am in a good mood: always leads to no good. I stopped in the liquor store next to work. To pick up a (very reasonably priced) fifth of Jim … Continue reading
Posted in Music, Uncategorized
Tagged Aliens, Freakishness, Good Music, Love, MP3 Download, Richard Gere
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