7 Reasons Why Masturbating Beats Sexing.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I’ve been single for about a month now, for the first time in almost 7 years. It’s fucking rad! Granted, I’ll probably be a slave to vagina again at some point in the near future; as a man, it’s sort of my lot in life. But I’m really enjoying the solitude for now. Anyway, here we go. Top 7 reasons why masturbating rules and fucking drools.

1. Doesn’t smell as weird!
2. Post-coital cuddling is optional.
3. No dirty looks when you get up for a sandwich or ice cream.
4. Less chance of strange liquids in yr mouth.
5. Not worrying about the pimple on yr ass.
6. Don’t have to spend money on dinner, drinks, or roofies.
7. Never having to wake up to anyone else’s ugly mug.

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About R. Spacely

Bastard.
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One Response to 7 Reasons Why Masturbating Beats Sexing.

  1. Pingback: The Batin’ A-Hole. | The Stir-Fried Dinosaur

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