Linda Blair was born innocent.

I sort of want to make a pro-jesus christian blog. Like really work on it for a while; put up bible verses every day and link to creed videos and put up some pictures of aborted fetuses (the Christ-folks eat that shit up, right? “every life is worth living” stuff? yes, i personally am pro-abortion.) and really work on getting thousands of readers. I think it would be easy. Christ people always stick together and are always multiplying. So yes. I’d work on it for like a year, or maybe just six months if it’s boring. Let’s face it, it would be mind-crunchingly boring.

And then, after a while, I’d find a way to completely offend and disgust them with pictures of people having gay sex whilst having a conversation (about how the existence of dinosaurs completely dispells the myth that the bible was “fact”) inside a voting booth while voting a black man into presidential office. Or maybe one day, little Tommy Smitherton is looking at my jesus blog for his Deuteronomy quote of the day… and he finds instead some nun-on-nun-on-priest porn? I mean, I personally dig the pseudo-religious porn stuffand, although I’ve never made love to a nun in a church, I definitely would if I had the chance. But yeah, I bet Christ-folk aren’t into it. Unless they are. It’s possible. I think those people always seem to have some pretty dirty secrets, don’t they? The pope being an ex-naxi-sympathizer and seemingly relaxed about the issue of priests boning little boys, and then there’s Ted Haggard, fuck… GW Bush is a Christian too, isn’t he? I’m sure he’s into some fairly dark genres of porn.

Anyway. I’d like to do this. It’s sort of like psychological torture, but not too bad. Just enough to make ’em squirm. In the name of revenge. For all the Christ people knocking on my door this spring. Because they’re really really persistant with their silly zombie jesus crap.

In the meanwhile. Here’s a video to help us all laugh:


About R. Spacely

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