Bret Michaels is dead!

No, he’s not, sadly. But I really kinda wish he was. For his own benefit, of course. He used to be in a band, did you know that? They were called Poison, and they wore spandex and hair spray in the 1980s. I’m actually wondering if his current brain hemmorage issue has something to do with abuse of hair products back then?

I just think it’s really sad that this guy has been reduced to horrendous reality tv shows on VH1. He used to make music, you know, even if it was never very good music… he did it. And now, the only reason people know him is because he’s hot (until he takes that bandana off and you see his hairline) and he stands around on tv judging which groupie slut is Queen of Groupie Sluts.

No integrity. No hope. I guess it doesn’t even matter if he dies a merciful death at this point, he’s still going to be remembered solely for the last five years of his “career” or whatever it is that he’s doing now.

Has this dude even written a song since Every Rose Has Its Thorn?

We should build a time machine so we can go back and put Bret Michaels out of his misery, in the time where he still had reason to hold onto a shred of pride or self-worth.

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About R. Spacely

Bastard.
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2 Responses to Bret Michaels is dead!

  1. Valerie says:

    this is probably my favorite blog post ever. or, at least the best one I’ve read today…

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