Guest Post: I’m From Portland

It’s a guest post! From Tall Brunette. She’s a nice lady; quite funny and, at times, earnest and heartbreaking. Her blog is over at www.tallbrunette.wordpress.com so please feel free to go enjoy it.

Hello there, Stir Fried readers.

I suppose I should introduce myself. I’m Tall Brunette from 20 Something Bloggers. Rob invited me to write a little thing or two about my city- And I am happy to do so. I’ll consider this just an INTRODUCTION to Portland and why its awesome. Hopefully I’ll get the chance to collaborate with Rob more in the future and put together a post about Portland music and the new ‘sound’ emerging from here.
But for now, consider this an intro… a little preface if you will.

When abroad, people always want to know where you’re from. I used to always reply with “Seattle.” When in fact, that was kind of a lie. I suppose in the grand, global scheme of things, it was true. But as of the last few years, “Portland, Oregon” has gained many, many more nods of recognition, and also a look of “well that figures.” I generally get that look when they lay eyes on my skin which is an awesome shade of ‘day glo’ and when they observe the jeans, plaid shirts, and a general lack of glam all together.

BUT- it is one of my favorite things to talk about Portland. I can write about it, I can try and tell you, but really, you will never understand until you’ve been here. The skyline is not super impressive. Other than the fact trees mix in with sky scrapers, and there isn’t a hint of smog or strange cloud around the city at all, you won’t see seriously recognizable landmarks unless you’ve lived here.
However, Portland IS the city of bridges. Long bridges, tall bridges, draw bridges, overpasses, new bridges, old bridges, train bridges, gothic bridges, burned bridges, rope bridges, toll bridges and grate bridges.

There’s a lot to be said for stereotypes in an international setting. But moving this a little more domestic, the stereotypes for Northwest women are truly ones to be treasured. And before you say ” I never do that,” … yes you do. We all do. Like.. what comes to mind when you hear the phrase “California Girl,” ???
BAM.
BLONDE….

Here are some of my favorite Portland/Seattle/ Pacific Northwest girl stereotypes to date:

We are all Julia Styles circa “Ten Things I Hate About You,” feminist bitch cat-faced, ’64 Dodge Dart driving nazi whores.
Not very true. I mean, sure, I might drive a vintage car, and have been known to carry my own luggage, but really, I sort of want to punch the producers of that film in the face. Besides, that’s Seattle, and that brat lived in a Norman Rockwell house on Mercer Island. I have NO idea what she was so bitter about.

We are all pale.
TOTALLY not true. In fact, the tanning industry is huge here. Which is unfortunate, and kind of gross. So many girls walking around who look like pumpkin pies. But whatever. To each their own.

Vampires live among us. Edward Cullen is my neighbor.
True.
though I admit, it wasn’t until the movie came out did I actually know that weird little prick was a vampire. See… I know its strange, but here, when you see a guy who sparkles in the sunlight, my immediate first thought ISN’T “AHHH! SCARY!” But usually one of the following two… 1. Fag. or 2. Shag it. Its MAGICAL.

We all have giant, unkempt bushes.
Not true. I know a lot of girls who don’t. Personally though, mine is named Art Garfunkel. Though, since I’m a brunette, I should really think about renaming it “Bob Ross.” .. because after all, its a “Happy little bush.”…..

It was lovely chatting at you all! Thanks to Rob for this opportunity.

For more on Portland and the Northwest way of life, feel free to visit me at http://www.tallbrunette.wordpress.com

xo
TB
The Northwest girl

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About R. Spacely

Bastard.
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