In the Netherworld of Foreign Feeds

It has been brought to my attention this week that some people may have never listened to the band that is called Pavement. Yes, this band is on my mind a lot because they are one of my favorite things on Earth and I am going to see them play in a few months. So, I thought it would be nice to make a Pavement for N00bs compilation for those of you that are not yet loyal fans. I also think it could be fun (for me. Not for you, suckers!) to have an in-depth discussion about why this band is important. OR, at least, a completely disjointed rant about mostly non-Pavement things. I will brilliantly tie it all together at the end with some kind of statement about how “lyrics don’t always need to make sense so neither do I.” Let’s begin then, shall we?

Firstly, Pavement writes songs about history. This is good. I like history. Except I’m mostly not smart enough to really get it. So songs that SOUND like they’re talking about history… that’s fine for me. See? I’m already bored about talking about this. Just listen to the Pavement for n00bs mixtape down at the bottom of this post. Otherwise, here’s what’s really on my mind.

Yesterday, some fucking hot skanks set up shop in front of my job. As I walked out after picking up my miserably small paycheck, one of them spoke to me:

She: Hi, sir. Are you a registered Republican, by any chance?
Me: Hahaha, seriously? Are you?
She: Yes, of course.
Me: Why? (Then walked away because I thought it was clearly enough a rhetorical question.)

This is actually the shirt I was wearing, though these are the arms of some model guy.

Do I look like a motherfucking Republican? AND I was wearing a Big Business t-shirt full of gorilla skulls and bats and dracula’s castle and a tiger and a zebra. My hair: frizzy and greasy at the same time. My eyes: red. My face: hairy, very hairy. I had a cigarette hanging out of my mouth, and I was also wearing my “don’t you fucking look at me, shithead” face. How could I be a fucking Republican? Okay, I realise that half of this description sounds a LOT like Dick Cheney but uhh… Well, no. Fuck you, man. No, I’m no Republican. I don’t even vote anymore. Ew. So, apparently, these chicks were posted up at the exit door of the grocery store where I work, to collect petitions about some political bullshit. I was trying to pay attention to what they were saying but the only people that were talking to them were old VERY old women with blue beehive hairdos. So naturally, I started staring at the booty shorts. I am a man (kinda), and I do love the ass, and even better when the ladies like to show off the ass.

Which brings me to my point that I really like when women are outwardly conservative but… you know, total freaks? Even the stupid ones. Like when that “Who’s Nailin’ Palin” porno movie came out? I was all over that. Pretending that, indeed, I was the one who was nailin’ Palin. I also really like nun porn. They don’t seem to make enough of that though. I always (rarely) fantasize about walking into a church and getting down to pray and then have a totally slutty nun drag me into a confessional booth and yadda yadda yadda. God, that would be great. I wonder if these things happen in real life. Maybe I should start going to church. Not for mass, just at random times. Like 9:30pm when the dirtiest of the nuns cannot sleep because of their impure thoughts.

Digressing.

I played guitar for like 40 minutes today with no pain. I think this mind-over-arthritis thing is totally working. I wear a wrist brace at work on the bad days, but I’m getting better. The weight I gained in the months after becoming afflicted, well yeah, the pounds are flying off of me. And my arms and wrists and shoulders are feeling a lot stronger again. Throwing around 50 lb boxes of banananas and shit all day, it’s helping. So I shredded for a while. Worked on this song I started writing last week. And then played some Neutral Milk Hotel covers and a couple of my old songs and some Radiohead and some Creedence. I haven’t played for 40 minutes in like… a while. And singing again felt good. It felt right.

I’m obsessing about music again lately. Meeting a lot of musicians. Punk rockers and metalists mostly. But whatever. I think. In a world of screaming aggressive music, don’t we still need the soft-spoken weirdoes that subtly dispense their energy? So my master plan is to push my way into a lineup of a few bands that make loud music. I will be like Syd Barrett opening up for The Clash. And that is good, I think.

In the near future, I’m going to post a couple of my own songs too. Because I did that once, when I still only had 4 readers. But yeah, I’m meeting a lot of new heads. And I am taking the blogworld by storm. So I should definitely start shoving my bad home recordings down your pieholes, right? RIGHT!

Anyway. Time to shut the fuck up. Here is the Pavement mix I promised, for you freaks that aren’t yet Pavement fans. Keep in mind, this is not at all in chronological order. And also, this is what I personally love most about this band… but they’re pretty diverse and have a pop sensibility that probably isn’t well enough represented here. Whatever. Enjoy the crap out of this, it’s great stuff.

The Link: Pavement for n00bs

The Songs:
01 – Unfair
02 – No Life Singed Her
03 – Elevate Me Later
04 – Passat Dream
05 – Flux=Rad
06 – Gold Soundz
07 – Grounded
08 – Conduit for Sale!
09 – No More Kings
10 – Embassy Row
11 – Zurich Is Stained
12 – Unseen Power of the Picket Fence
13 – Range Life
14 – The Killing Moon
15 – Trigger Cut
16 – Wanna Mess You Around
17 – Here
18 – Brinx Job
19 – Debris Slide
20 – Extradition
21 – Our Singer
22 – Shady Lane
23 – We Are Underused

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About R. Spacely

Bastard.
This entry was posted in Music and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to In the Netherworld of Foreign Feeds

  1. krystal says:

    Hey your comment totally made my day, thanks! I decided if you can call me that and I can love it then we are cool. I read this whole blog and thought that Pavement was going to be metal and so I almost didn’t listen to it but then I picked my favorite title and listened and realized that a. it’s not metal at all b. that i liked it and c. that I have NO idea why I thought it was going to be metal so then I read it all over again and realized that I still don’t know. and now I feel all spinny. kbye

    • Rob says:

      Well I made that other post about a metal band… maybe that was the mix-up? I don’t know.

      I’m glad you got some Pavement in you. And I’m glad we’re cool even though I called you a scatterbrained weirdo. If it helps, that’s actually a term of endearment in my world. I was complimenting you, miss!

    • Rob says:

      Also, do you mind me asking which song titled interested you enough to compell you to listen?

      • krystal says:

        oh no, scatterbrained weirdo is total endearment in my world too, don’t worry. we’s on the same page
        i listened to ‘zurich is stained’ because i live in switzerland right now – i really love the lyrics. it’s on my to do list to look at more of their lyrics.
        now i will be crazy fan girl and casually mention that ‘little lion man’ and ‘sigh no more’ are my favorite mumford songs…in case you want to listen!

  2. Holly says:

    “I will be like Syd Barrett opening up for The Clash.”

    More like a jock opening up for a wanky band

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