Note to self: Grooming is good.

So I cut my fucking hair off the other day. It wasn’t long long, but… it was getting pretty long. Wait. I’ll find a picture of it. Okay there, to the right. That was about a month and a half ago, so picture another half an inch or something. Anyway, I cut it all off. No, I don’t have a picture of it because I’m not a vain piece of shit. But it’s very short, and I lost about 15 or 20 lbs since that other picture. So, basically, I look a bit better than I did. Anyway, it’s been changing my life these past few days.

A girl at work told me she thinks I’m cute yesterday. Which makes me happy. I said, “Uhhh… thanks?” Like an awkward dick. But I was really flattered and I might ask her to hang out sometime because she’s pretty cute too. And she laughs at my funny, which is good.

The other day, too, I was in a town that is not the town I live in. I had some time to kill. So I walked into a music store. I played a cheap SG knock-off for ten minutes. I chatted up the attractive (albeit not very bright) girl behind the counter for 20 minutes. I filled out a job application, just because I kinda wanted to kill another 6 minutes. Anyway, I got a call back two days later and they want to hire me. See, this is odd. Because me and my old hair (the longer version of my new hair) were job hunting for like three months, and no one wanted to hire me. And now, the FIRST place I randomly stop in to fill out an arbitrary application for a job I don’t even want or need… they want me to work. I’m telling you fuckers, hair is magical and IMPORTANT in today’s world.

Also, I’ve made like 4 new friends at work since I cut it off. 4 people that never talked to me before. They are now being very buddy-buddy with me. What the shit? And I don’t want to sound pompous but… chicks have been checking me out a little. I mean some of them are very attractive, and they are responding to my always-flirty-even-though-I’m-never-serious-about-it crap. Eye contact that lasts more than a few seconds, smiles, little adorable giggles.

The moral of this story is… cut your fucking hair, you lousy hippie! People care about these things.


About R. Spacely

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2 Responses to Note to self: Grooming is good.

  1. Yep, I concur, you do look cute with that haircut.

  2. janet says:

    i used to have long hair down to my chest. i cut it off to signify a new phase in my life after a long ass relationship. and then shaved it off to signify a new phase in my life at a monastery.. haha. anyway, no matter how short my hair is i STILL attract goddamn hippies. WHY!?!

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