So I’m drinking Magic Hat #9. It’s a “Not Quite Pale Ale,” or so says the bottle. Anyway, this is only my second time drinking Magic Hat beer on purpose. And I also drank it once not on purpose, years ago when I was dating a hippie that went to college in Upstate NY. ANYWAY.
I’m drinking these #9s because I had some Hefeweizens made by the same company. I guess they’re a microbrewery in Vermont or something. And, yeah, I’m trying to drink tastier beers in preparation for Portland (which is, indeed, home to many of the best microbrews in the world). PLUS, none of these douchers on Long Island sell Pabst. Like NOBODY. No fucking PBR anywhere, except for one shitty expensive place by my house. Yeah. Anyway. I’m drinking Magic Hat beers. They’re yummy, and they get me drunk.
OKAY, SO… I just found out that these beers have words on the insides of the bottle caps. Some of them are quite profound, some of them rhyme, all of them are kinda ‘tarded. But still!! I want to share. Because… well, because this is probably the only important discovery I will make tonight. So. Shut up. Here is some bottle-top wisdom for yr ear.
+ “Build a shrine to #9” So. This is obviously stupid, shamelss, self-aggrandizing promotional doo-doo. But whatever.
+ “We corn in peas and mean no ham” This was the second one I found. I laughed, only because I know this MUST have come from the minds of white people that live in Vermont.
+ “You get what you give, so remember to live” Is this a paradox? Is this deeper than it sounds? The answer is no. It’s hippy bullshit that somebody wrote down on a piece of tree bark the last time they went to Burning Man.
+ “sing and rejoice” Okay. Win. Call me cheesy, because I really am, but this is my favorite. If I left the house everyday and saw signs all over the world that said “sing and rejoice,” I would be the happiest guy in the world. Really, I’m being serious.
+ “Peel off your skin to see we’re all kin” See, this one I like too. Yes, more hippie bullshit, but at least this one…. okay, fine. No excuses. It is hippy bullshit, but I LIKE IT, SO FUCK OFF!!
Okay. I just wanted to share. At least my beer makes me think a little. What has YOUR beer done for YOU lately???