Phase Two: Complete!!

So I met my new urologist today, like two hours ago. We had a pretty serious talk about my cock and stuff. (If you’re not a regular here, you may want to read this and/or this first… the ongoing saga.) Anyway, he has agreed to do the vasectomy!! It was rough, he was all like, “maybe you should call me back in 6 months, and if you’re still serious about this, then we’ll do it.” And I was like, “uhhhh… ummm… I’m planning on moving across the country within 6 months.” And he countered with, “how about 3 months?” And then I bluffed: “I respect your code of professional ethics, but I want it done as soon as possible. If you won’t do it, I’ll understand, and I will respectfully move on to another urologist.” (I don’t have any more urologists up my sleeve, and my insurance won’t pay for me to see another one anytime soon.) And then he was like, “Okay, fine, I guess. Let’s do it.” My bluff worked!! So I took down my pants, put my balls in his right hand, and he was all impressed. “Clearly defined tubes,” he said, or something like that.

It’s kinda funny, I saw a poster in the city the other day, it has stuck with me all week. It was this one:

So. As it turns out, this poster saved me today.

Anyway. On August 3rd at 2:45pm-ish, I will be vasectomized.

I’ll be sure to get pictures and/or audio and/or video of this momentous occasion. And if you need me to knock you up, just let me know. I will be booking unprotected-sex appointments until the evening of August 2nd.

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About R. Spacely

Bastard.
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12 Responses to Phase Two: Complete!!

  1. Heather says:

    You know vasectomy’s are always reversible, right? :)

    P.S. You’re brave.

    • Rob says:

      The success rate of reversals is actually not good. So I’ve been told countless times to consider this a permanent solution.

      And I’m not sure this is brave. I like physical pain, and I hate babies. I just really hope I don’t get an excitement boner during the procedure…

  2. cooper says:

    Where I come from a vasectomy wouldn’t save anyone except a long time lover from having to wear a condom, but I do understand you philosophy – there are thousands of children in this country who are in need of good homes and a large number of them are not at all psychotic. Your little cherub is technically no more special than any one of these children.

    However, what a future mate might feel in this is questionable. I am told females usually want their own biological children, and there is some research to suggest that ovarian cancer is prevented or the significantly decreased in the women who has had at least one biological child.

    So maybe just go for someone who already has a kid?

  3. janet says:

    i think what you’re doing is rad and also because i hate condoms. but i wonder if the ladies would be into it? they all seem to want babies. boo.

    • Rob says:

      And seriously. If you hate the condoms, and never want your own babies… we could go out sometime. I’m game.

      • janet says:

        bahaha i knew that was coming next :)
        i kinda want to adopt. unsure about my own babies. unsure about babies.

        sure! when i’m on american soil i’m game. :P

        • Rob says:

          I was gonna delete that pervy comment! I knew I should have. But, alas, I’m easily distracted. Sorry about that.

  4. Rob says:

    Luckily, I tend to go for fairly progressive women. I mean, I will surely be upfront about this with future relationships. And I’ll just stay away from anyone who feels the need to reproduce biologically. Or, yeah, I will go for the MILFs. Ha, doubtful..

    And, fuck yeah, condoms suck. They sort of defeat the whole purpose of sex, no? I don’t think anyone likes those things. So if I’m not a very promiscuous person, saving myself for someone I know and trust, then what’s wrong with enjoying the perks of not using a rubber bag on my junk?

  5. Essie says:

    You can impregnate me on the 31st or the 1st…?

  6. Essie says:

    If I have to put up the 2000 dollars to get you here, I better get my money’s worth.

    Might be cool to have the Stir Fried Dinosaur as my “babydaddy”.

    • Rob says:

      Well. I’m pretty great in bed. And my offspring would probably be creative, smart, shit-talking troublemakers. But. You’re raising the bastard, not me. So. You know.

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