Oh darling, you’re my darling…

Fuck it, god damn it. I just opened my first beer. I’ve been googling the shit out of it (alcohol after getting vasectomized). And I haven’t found anything that has scared me out of drinking. Seems like everyone is stressing that Valium and alcohol don’t play nicely together, but I’m on Vicodin… not Valium. So. Whatevs.

You’ll be thrilled to know that my recovery has been pretty much smooth sailing thus far. Very minimal swelling, no weird bruises, no bleeding, no piss-pain, I’m taking my anti-biotics like a good boy, and I’m not abusing the painkillers. I even woke up with a raging, incorrigible hard-on this morning so… hooray!! My cock still works (the neurotic part of me was a bit worried about this one, but all is well so far).

So then… what the crap am I going to write about now that this whole thing is out of the way? I mean, I have two cups the doctor gave me… I have to squirt some loads into them in 6 weeks, bring my goo to him so he can test for spermies. But other than that, I think I’m gonna have to stop talking about my dick so much. Yikes!!

I am excited for this beer though. Even though I’m not really a fan in general. I’m having a Southampton IPA. I guess they’re local or something? Oh wait, no. Bottle says Latrobe, PA. WEAK. I really want some PBR and Jim Beam but I’m all out of those. And I don’t feel well enough to travel for them yet. I do have a small bottle of Smirnoff’s “Twist of Orange” flavored vodka in the freezer… but I’m thinking that’s gonna suck too. And I don’t even have any cranberry juice so fuck all that. But yeah. It’s a disgustingly hot/humid day here on Long Island, and I am in a joyous (albeit BOREDASFUCK) mood… so that’s why I’m so into drinking.

Oh. I twittered before. About how my cure for today’s boredom was going to be a Star Wars marathon. But my DVD player has been shitty lately, and giving me “No Disc” on a lot of discs. And guess what! Of course, no fucking Star Wars for me today. No Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi either. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, perhaps?? Nope. No such luck. Thank goodness for Hulu.com though. They came through once again. Right now, they’ve got like 19 Zatoichi films available for watching. So I put on a couple of those earlier.

You know, I really do kinda hate my job. But I’m learning very quickly that I prefer it to sitting at home. I mean, I’d love to have 5 days off if I could actually go out and do stuff, sure. In fact, if that were the case, I’m sure THAT kind of time off would further reinforce my hatred of work. But no, man. This sitting around at home all day, icing my junk and popping pills… not cool. I played some guitar for a while before, trying to write some songs for my little cousin, and that was fun. But I had to stop because I think all the motion and effort were starting to make me a bit sore-below-the-belt again. And every time I sit or lay down, to try and read one of my new books, I can’t keep my fucking eyes open. LAAAAAAAAAME.

In cases like this, cases of un-shake-able boredom, jerking off helps a lot. But. Circumstance is not even giving me that option for another 7 to 10 days. Motherfuck!

Uhhhhhhhh… ummmmm… so yeah. That’s my gripe. But despite it all, I am in a good mood. I just feel out of sorts. I mean, I’m not one of those people that gets bored. Because generally, if I feel even a hint of that coming on, I find something good to do. But shit, man. Limited options and such.

And I’ve still got days and days of this. I’m not working again until Sunday or Monday. All I have planned before then is… going to meet my new therapist (the one that the State of NY is making me go to, unless I want to stop receiving the extra $500/month the state gives me for being crazy) on Friday, and possibly going to an extended family barbeque on Saturday.

God damn. Sorry for being such a whiner about all of this, but I needed to vent. I feel a little better though, still bored but… better. I’m thinking maybe I’ll just… eat some fucking cookies and watch more Blind Swordsman movies on hulu. Hmmm. Maybe, actually, I will spend some time catching up on (or bugging the shit out of) a few of my favorite blogs/bloggers. Things like… The Loch Ess Monster, Nostomanic, You can read me anything, or I Fry Mine In Butter. Who knows? Maybe I’ll end up back here in a little while, to ramble incoherently (yeah, this beer, however shitty it may taste, is really playing nicely with my Vicodin) about strange things. And there are still like 14 blog posts I’ve been meaning to write. Maybe tonight we’ll get some very mashed-up, drunken, slobby versions of some of these ideas.

Any comments or suggestions? From you, my loyal readers?

And did you know I love you?


About R. Spacely

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2 Responses to Oh darling, you’re my darling…

  1. mylifeonrepeat says:

    Just tried to watch Pulp Fiction and my DVD player told me I didn’t put in a disc. Clearly, I had. Technology fucking sucks. Anywho. IPAs are okay but not all are that great. I’ve been kind of getting sick of PBR though, being all we can afford lately and shit. But I cooked dinner the other night, drank a Flying Dog Woody Creek. (Another good Flying Dog is Raging Bitch.) I do like Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA though. If I have to drink an IPA, that is. Since I’m lazy, sorry about the drunk ex-girlfriend message. Those suck when you have to deal with them the next morning. I’ve had plenty of drunk texting nights. And they feel like shit. But I hope you feel better and enjoy some good beer. Cheers! : )

    • I haven’t had any of the Flying Dog beers, but I’ll keep an eye out. Technology is an asshole. My ex is crazy as hell, so really I have a feeling I don’t yet understand the true implications of my texts from the other night. We’ll see. But thanks for the well wishes.

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