I ranted and raved this morning about some stupid shit. I wasn’t in a bad mood, per se, but… I have been feeling a bit annoyed these last few days. Just a little though. But then there are all of the good things. Did you know that there are some people that make me so fucking happy, I feel like my head is going to explode?!? True story. I think some people are just so fucking beautiful, and they don’t even know it. Because, for me, it’s the tiny things that no one sees… these are the things that matter most.
I am now going to post a few examples. Of things. That make me want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep forever and ever, with safe and smiling eyes. Via text, via email, via facebook… these are excerpts from messages that made my day today. I’m putting them here because I don’t want to forget how nice the world is sometimes. I’ve also decided to garnish this post with photographs of things that fill me up with goodness. Because, clearly, I’m feeling like a dirty fucking hippie today. Now that I’ve recovered from my outburstiness this morning.
And perhaps you’re having a rough week? You can read these little statements and know that somewhere in this world, there are kind, caring people out there… and they’re busy being kind and caring towards others. Even when the “others” in this case is a weird dude like me. And you can look at the pwetty pictures and just say to yourself, “AWWWWWWWWWWW!!! This world ain’t so bad at all!”
Let’s start with my favorite thing:
Here is something sent to me this morning by a girl I’ve had an e-crush on for like 7 years. She is a bad-ass, but she’s a fucking mush too. I like when tough people show a little bit of vulnerability. It’s one of my favorite things in this world. Anyway, here:
“I just woke up from a dream where I was about to tie a guy up to fuck him and I looked up and it was you. I’m still in shock but I found it amusing enough to share anyway.”
I don’t say this aloud to her, and I don’t think she reads my blog, but I’d totally love to be tied up by this lovely lady. TOTALLY.
And then this happened. This note is actually from that L____ M_____ person I had mentioned in a a couple of posts a while ago. A girl I went to school with, but never really knew, and then we sort of reconnected because someone Googled this girl’s name and was brought to my blog? (Run-on sentences are awesome, yeah?) So, whatever. This girl is actually rad, and lives out in Oregon and runs an acupuncture clinic and all. Definitely my kind of folk. But we’ve been exchanging words via facebook for the last couple weeks. And then she said this to me today, and my heart melted a little:
“I feel like this is kind of unfair to say, but I really like your blog. I used to have one, but I had to go back to journaling on paper for the necessary post-writing ritual of hating everything and ripping it up. It’s unfair because you do a beautiful job with this super personal stuff and I feel like a stalker reading it because you don’t know much about me. I guess you accept that scenario as the author, but I’ve enjoyed reading it so much that I want to give something back to you. So. Please read this book: Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris. It’s perfect to read in the bookstore if you don’t mind laughing out loud and tears and snot running down your face in the book stacks (I don’t). It’s very short stories, just read the first one and if you don’t love it I’ll owe you a beer.”
I REALLY enjoy having good things recommended to me, especially books that will make me all emotional in public places. And to hear that someone enjoys what I’m doing, even though I had NO IDEA they were even paying attention? I mean, I can be a very confident person sometimes. But the world beats me up a lot of times, and I struggle with insecurities as much as anyone/everyone else. So. Genuine compliments that don’t sound too much like compliments? AWESOME!!
And finally, this one actually gave me a mind-erection. I read it, and it was like taking a double shot of wheatgrass. I felt rejuvinated, full of patience and love and hope, and ready to face the day. And it doesn’t hurt that these words came from a person I happen to respect and admire more than most other people that are walking the planet. I think it’s in response to a talk we were having about how “dating around” has been kind of fun for me, but really unfulfilling. And so I mentioned to her that there are a lot of people that seem to make my spirit ache, and I told her about my fear of being far too weird to ever meet anyone that really gets me all the way. Anyhow. Here, read this part:
“you are not too weird. don’t even say that shit. you are magical, funny, honest, self deprecating, incredibly intelligent and have great taste in music. any woman not interested in that isn’t worth your time. your self doubt is testament to the low quality of humans on this planet. usually i preach taking responsibility, but in this instance the onus is not on you. you will find your niche. someday you will know you rule. as far as the chicks go, they’ll catch on. being a woman is hard. you have pussy power, but it’s subverted by all this princess-y bullshit which manifests itself with self-hate. so you end up dating douchebags and letting quality humans pass you as you seek validation from guys you know will ultimately leave you feeling empty in one way or another, thereby re-enforcing the worthlessness and self-hate. the woman you seek will have risen above that bullshit and be ready to globe trot and art make with you. it’ll be worth the wait, i promise. in the meantime just keep being who you are. i know the loneliness kills. but think of it as a hunger strike: it will make you stronger.”
See, man?? How could I NOT be inspired by that kind of talk?
Anyway, yeah, like I said- I’d really just like to have these words on my blog here. Someday soon, facebook will burn to the ground. And my email inbox is a fucking mess. And so. Here, this here. This is my storage space for things worth keeping for as long as the internet exists.
But, like I also said, you should feel free to use these words to inspire your self as well. Because these words are proof that there ARE INDEED nice things taking place in this strange world.