I’ve been thinking about New Orleans lately, obviously. But I just remembered something that I want to quickly write down, before I forget again.
One of my last nights in New Orleans, right before I skedaddled out to Los Angeles, I got in trouble. Me and a couple of people got really drunk in the Quarter and we were just walking around talking to people. We sat down in Jackson Square to listen to some other folks playing guitars. I was drunk, and as per usual, (my beer-drunk bladder is the size of a shotglass) I had to piss. So I took a piss on the Saint Louis Cathedral. Not because I’m a big bad Satanist. But. I mean. I had to piss. I was going to piss, regardless. So I figured it’d be best not to do it in my pants. And that church just happened to be standing there, so I used one of its doors as a urinal.
As I’m pissing, I turn around and it’s two Howdy-Doody-looking fuckfaces on horseback, wearing helmets and badges and guns and shit. They told me I was going to jail. But when then they called it in, I guess it turns out there was some big fire down at Iberville and Dauphine? Apparently it was a massive fire, because these obviously-Christian shitheads just gave me a citation, and told me I “best be respectin’ the Lord when you down here in N’awlins.” I was drunk, and had a bench warrant in New York for something stupid, so I naturally agreed to their faces. But when they left, I ripped up the ticket, threw it down on the same steps of the same Cathedral, and finished taking my piss. I never paid it, but I assume it’s not a big deal, right? I mean, I don’t think I can get in trouble for this old ticket if I were to get pulled over down there again… I think. Right?
Whatever. This turned out to be another fun night of barely remembering anything at all. I think this little confrontation convinced me to write a song about Nietzsche and his run-in with a particularly sad horse.
Okay. That is all. I’m going now. I’ll probably take the rest of the weekend off. Have fun, all. Safety first!!