I’m so ripe with life.

Oh man. Uhhh… where to start? Well, I’m quitting smoking. Cigarettes. Again. I have two left, and then that’s it. I’m hoping that this is more money that I can save for Portland. And then maybe I’ll start smoking again when I get there. Or maybe I won’t. So. I am fucking nervous. Because I really can’t smoke even though I am SUCH a fucking addict. And, yes. This blog may end up having to be my place for some “oh my god, I miss cigarettes, and I now hate my life” posts. Sorry in advance.

Some girl did something extremely nice for me today, even though I have no idea who she is. She has a tumblr blog called Simply Coitus. I guess she’s new at it, but it’s pretty awesome so far. A few small rants, a Scout Niblett (whom we all know I love) song, and then she wrote this thing today:

“SO, I’ve been reading this blog for a while, annnnnd in his own way this man is brilliant. He’s amusing on his worst day, and fucking hilarious on his best. And also posts some great music. I suggest you find his post titled “I WROTE A SONG” and listen to the song. It’s just an outline he says, but fuck, I enjoy it enough to go back again and again. So yes. Go, enjoy, this is my will or something. I dunno.”

Holy shit, right?! And she was talking about THIS blog! There was a link to me and everything! Wow. WOW! Very kind words. And, to me, the kind words of strangers is often worth much more than the kind words of friends. Because friends lie sometimes, to try and make their friends feel better. Anyway, I tried to find a way to comment or send her an email or something, but I had no luck. So. I am saying it here.

Thank you very much, Miss Beth from Simply Coitus. You shocked me and made my day. And your blog is awesome so far, and I will check back more in the future. And really… thank you. I really appreciate the compliments more than you know.

Mmmmmm… let’s see, what else? I really don’t know what else to say. I am currently doing my best not to be upset about the fact that the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life has stopped returning my texts for the last day and a half (I mean she kind of just stopped texting back, like… mid-conversation). I’m trying my best not to be completely full of anxiety about that, but, if we’re being honest, I’m kind of failing. I just don’t get it. I have no idea what I did wrong, all I can do is speculate. When you have some serious anxiety issues like I do, speculation is sort of like a nightmare. And she didn’t seem like that kind of mean or dishonest person, the type that gets upset with me and then won’t tell me why. So I don’t know what happened. I’m worried though, and so I’m battling with that. Because I really thought I had made an awesome new friend.

Beyond all of these things I just mentioned, I am about to space out and watch a movie (The Adventures of Sebastian Cole, in case you were wondering) and try not to think very much about anything else. I had a rough day at work. And I’m worried that I’m having some kind of arthritis problem again… one of my feet feels like it’s swollen and sprained for no reason, and my right hand/wrist/fingers seem to be in bad shape for no reason today. This is the first time I’ve hurt like this in a while. So I going to take some Motrin PM. Hopefully these pills will dull the aches and maybe even help put me to sleep.

Okay. Well, that’s enough out of me, isn’t it?

Here is a nice sleepytime song by Broadcast, called Come On, Let’s Go. Maybe you will all enjoy it. I enjoy it.


About R. Spacely

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