A lady on the bus gets off briefly, to help someone carry a baby stroller down the little bus-stairs. Gets back on, goes to her seat, starts yelling.
“You better give me back my bag! Bus driver, this cracker stole my purse! He got it in his bag!!”
Bus driver says loudly, “If that’s the case, you better hand it over.”
Bewildered Val Kilmer in Top Gun says “What are you talking about?”
Lady says “I got back on and you were putting my purse in your- – oh. NEVERMIND. I got it right here. Shit.”
Val Kilmer: What the fuck is this?” He moves over a few seats. “I’m getting away from you, lady.” Then moves to the front of the bus to speak to the man. “Bus driver, what’s your name?”
“Well, I got a badge number, and you can call 852-5200 to talk to the company.”
“WHAT’S YOUR NAME, BUS DRIVER? YOU HANDLED THAT VERY INNAPROPRIATELY! You have to give me your name…”
“I don’t gotta give you shit, boy. Let me tell you something. Let me pull over right quick.” STOPS BUS. RESTLESS PASSENGERS. ME, SMIRKING, BLASTING NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL IN MY HEADPHONES. “I gotta drive this bus to Patchogue. Let’s just relax. If you need to call the company, you can do that. I’d be pissed too if I got accused of that. But let’s leave it at that. I don’t want to have anymore words about it, okay, boy?”
Val Kilmer says wimpishly… “You’re right. I apologize.”
I love the bus sometimes.